Thursday, 20 January 2011

Dad's 80th Birthday Today

My Dad was 80 years old today. Mum and I went up to see him this afternoon. He seemed to like opening his presents, although cards seem to baffle him somewhat. I gave him an 80th Birthday card I bought from Joy who is a Phoenix trader. It's a really lovely card as indeed they all were. The inside of the card is blank so I made up a little poem for Dad and printed it out on paper as an insert, so you could almost imagine it was a very posh card :)

The poem is as follows:

Happy 80th Birthday Dad

In celebrating 80 years, we give thanks for your life,
For all the good things you’ve enjoyed with family, with wife.
For pride in always working hard, for football played so strong.
For always putting family first, helping if things went wrong.

Though illness clouds these memories, such memories make us smile.
They make us think of happy times, if only for a while.
So Happy 80th Birthday Dad, enjoy as best you can.
You are the very best dear Dad, never an also-ran.

With lots of love Elaine, John and James

OK ..... perhaps a little schmaltzy and they won't go calling for me to be Poet Laureat any time soon ...... but sitting on the train over the last few days, this is how I have felt.  
Dad doesn't look particularly well at the moment. It has taken seeing a photograph to actual 'see' that, which seems weird. You may, for instance, notice a bruise on his forehead as he has been having quite a few falls recently.
When I see how vulnerable he and all the other patients there actually are, it makes my blood boil to think how the 'powers that be' can make such arbitrary decisions about where they live without really caring at all. Well, I have decided over the last few days that I will fight their decision with every breath in my body. Though quite a few other relatives feel 'they will do what they like, no matter what we do', I can't let them get away with it without a fight!
So ........ I think I will start recording in my blog what goes on. This may not be 'Mauls Being Creative' in its original sense but I think we will have to apply a great deal of creativity in our thinking if we are to make them change their mind!


joy said...

oh, elaine, I feel for you. my stepdad had alzheimers. he was diagnosed in the early part of this century, and my poor old mum had to cope single-handed with him for a couple of years before he was put into a nursing home, where sadly he died in late 2002. it is such a "hopeless" time, you know things will never get better, and unable to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I just hope that your fight will prove to be successful, so that the poor chap has no more extra confusion.
and thanks for the mention,
joy xx

Elaine said...

Alzheimer's is indeed a terrible disease and I don't think people can really know how hard it can be unless they have seen it in someone close to them.

To see someone's personality slowly seep away is hard to watch. Dad still recognises my Mum but I'm not entirely sure if he recognises me.... it comes and goes. I think he realises I must be someone important in his life, but not exactly who! Perhaps 'daughter' for him conjures up the image of a little girl!

At the moment, I'm trying to gather as much information as I can to undermine the logic of their decision. However, I feel like a very small 'David' against a huge 'Goliath' .... and I don't even have a sling-shot to my name :)

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